SDD Clutter Free Day 7: A House Fire, Cats, Turning Away from Family, and 24 Items

The townhouse I used to live in burned down in a dryer fire. I'm grateful no humans were hurt, but devastated for the three cats that died. I'm also thinking about all the care and attention I gave that home, the first place I lived as an adult on my own. I'm thinking of the roommate experiences and friends falling asleep on my couch, and playing video games with my brothers, and earning my Associates degree. I'm thinking of how safe I felt there when I struggled with agoraphobia. Thinking of my own cats sitting in those windows after I just painted the sills (Oh, the paw prints). Thinking of my friends helping me swap tiles and install lights as I prepared to move to Bellingham. And, because everything reminds me of a song: 

"We are ships on an ocean, passing on our way back home...What we lose in the fire, we gain in the flood." -The Mynabirds.

That's been my theme song for the last couple months, "What We Gained in the Fire." I even wrote about it in my Dealing with Difficult Circumstances post, before the fire ever happened. When the lyrics mention "home," it could be a lot of things, some kind of heaven, maybe. When I listen to the song, I think of a state of mind, a feeling of peace. Basically it's the "Let it Go" of indie pop.

What we gain by letting go...you can see why I'd obsess over a song about that with all that's going on: the serious decline in my mom's health, my former home burning down, a massive decluttering effort (might not compare on an emotional level, but it does stir things up), and today I decided to turn away from some people who regularly shame me for my anxiety or any way I differ from them.

The people I turn away from today, I turn away from them with an open heart. Should they make a gesture of true connection, I will not be blind to it. I am grateful I have so many friends to guide me back to a place of self-compassion when those people make me question my worth, but I won't let them do that anymore.

There's art in all of this. This declutter countdown has opened my eyes to so many complexities that don't need to be that way. The stuff, sure, but also thought patterns, relationships, other people's standards, expectations. It's time for the unnecessary or harmful to go. The family who lost their home will have to grieve. Grief is not clutter.

But this week I learned we can find things to unburden, even with a heavy heart. We take small actions toward peace of mind. Things don't have to be with you to be a part of you.

Now for an awkward transition to the stuff. Here's my physical decluttering effort for the day.

Day 7: 24 Items Decluttered

1. Child's scarf. From when I was a child. I like adult sized scarves now FOR SOME REASON so I never wear this one. 

It's better if you don't take the picture
 during the cats' dinnertime.

2. Green...scarf? Maybe it's a summer scarf?
3-5. Belts.
6. Hoodie thing. I wanted a lightweight hoodie for cool but not cold L.A. nights, but since it's rayon, it doesn't breathe and only works on cold nights when I'd rather bundle anyway.
7. Tiny bag I'm sure gifted jewelry came in.
8. Tickets to nothing.
9. Scarf hanger from store display.
10. Remote I never set up for my old laptop.
11-13. Stacks of paper!! I made three piles and actually cleared the whole box! I'M DONE

WITH PAPER! I thought it was a huge undertaking to deal with that whole box of papers, but I made one stack a day and I did it!
14, 15. Paper bag pillowcases my brother made as a placeholder gift for me to open when the pillowcases he ordered hadn't arrived. I might cut out the drawings, but I think pictures will be enough.

16-18. Toiletry travel bags. I only need one, if that.
19-22. Lotions and cleansers inherited when my aunt decluttered her bathroom. I'm getting rid of

them for the same reason she did: too many chemicals. Most products end up hurting my skin more than helping.
23. Magazine.
24, Collapsible hamper. Weirdly, I have a sentimental connection to this hamper. I think because my cat, Jolie, likes to play with it. But I have a sorting hamper with three bags in it, and just minimized my wardrobe, so I hope I don't need four hampers!

Alright, well, I had a long to-do list, but it's been

a hard day, so I think I'm gonna call it over and go rest. I am proud of myself for getting through that box of papers, decluttering these items, writing this blog post, setting interpersonal boundaries, and finding healthy ways to mourn the loss of my former home.

Word. (I wrote this in 750words.com and needed one more word.)

Here's the gofundme campaign info for the family that lived in my former townhouse. I left them a small donation and comment. Community outreach is so important. Please check it out.

Help Laura & Chris after fire

"This tragedy is the most heart breaking and devastating thing we've ever had to endure. Words cannot describe the emotions we've felt having to say good bye so suddenly to our babies and the place we've called home. Through this hardship, we have our lives and health to be so incredibly thankful for. We could not have gone through this without the overwhelming love and support we've received from friends and family near and far. As we rebuild, mourn, and heal from this tragedy we want everyone who's helped us to know how grateful we are and how much we appreciate you. From the bottom of our hearts." - Laura Galletly

http://www.gofundme.com/2d39dvxw

Three Months of Ukulele: A Retrospective

“Tomorrow, I’m going to play my ukulele.”

My dear friend, Robbie, sent me an Amazon gift card for my birthday. Around this time, I was reading The Art of Asking and listening to Amanda Palmer's Ukulele Anthem on a daily basis. These events collided into one of my best decisions ever: to take up ukulele-playing.

After three months of regular playing, I'm going to use some lyrics from “Ukulele Anthem” to share my experiences learning this instrument.

1. You can play the ukulele too; it is painfully simple. Truth. Have you seen a ukulele? They only have four strings and twelve frets (of which you pretty much use four). The impetus to learn any new skill is the satisfaction of getting something right. So use your left hand to press on some strings, and then you graze your right hand right there along where the body meets the neck. And suddenly you’re overcome with joy.

For me, ukulele has been all up and up. There’s no impossible parts to get stuck on (except the horrific E-chord). I think it’s pretty simple. If you take AFP's advice to limit yourself to three chords, it's even simpler.

2. It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele. In my first hour, I think I learned standard tuning, three chords (C, F, G), and a strumming pattern (down down up up down up). That's pretty much "taught." I think it was another ten hours before I could switch between the chords quickly, strum while switching between chords, or sing while playing. I'm sure it's much faster for anyone familiar with string instruments.

I'd say it took 18 hours total to master my first song. It was the F.U.N. Song from SpongeBob SquarePants. But quite a few of those hours were spent playing it over and over to myself to bask in my accomplishment. (Sorry, neighbors.) (I mean, you're welcome.) It should also be noted that I taught myself using YouTube videos and the process might be faster with an in-person teacher. But less fun, because you'll probably have to learn Three Blind Mice.

3. You can play the ukulele, too, in London and down under. A soprano ukulele weighs 8-12 ounces. Ounces. That's the measurement pet foster parents use to measure newborn kittens. So, yeah, it's pretty portable. You read “portable” as “adorable” for a second, didn't you? I bring it to meetups and family dinners. Yes, I’ve performed in front of other humans and lived to tell the tales!

4. They're only $19.95. Yeah, especially the ones made for tourists in Hawaii or children. Mine was $29. [Edit: It's since gone up to $39.28.] The quality isn't 100% at the low end, but that doesn't matter if you're using it to sing and scream, right? It's just for fun and expression, so the less perfect, the better. “Flaws” include strings that rattle and a less rich tone.

5. Your fingers suffer. But it hurts so good. The other day it hurt all the muscles and joints of my left index finger to squeeze a spray bottle. I was like, "Sweet, I'm a real musician now." I experienced a similar pride when I developed calluses. They don't hurt, they just feel like when you dip your fingers in Elmer's glue and let it dry. I also have a scar on my right forearm from where the strings attach to the body of the ukulele. They're kinda pokey. I suspect that scar is a badge you don't get to wear if you play a higher end instrument.

6. You'll minimize some stranger's sadness with a piece of wood and plastic. The biggest surprise of this experience has been people's reactions to just the statement, "I play the ukulele." Their eyes widen, they lean forward a little. Apparently, "I play the ukulele" is welcome news. I also noticed that it's less awkward to share than singing. If you just sing to someone without an instrument in hand, they're like, "ew, weird, intimate." Put some chords behind your voice and they're all smiles.

7. Holy fuck, it's so fantastic, playing ukulele. Yes, yes yes yes! The joy I experience from ukulele ranges from a sense of accomplishment when I learn a new song, to a sense of connection when I share with others, and even, on a depressed day, to the meditative comfort of having one earphone in listening to Skeleton by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs while I fingerpicked along to it. And that's all I did that day, all day. And it felt whole, like not a second of that day was wasted.

Now, if you're familiar with the Ukulele Anthem, you might be thinking, "Hey Sarah, aren't you taking this a little too literally?" To which I reply, "Yes. And it's working."

Playlist: Unconventional Xmas

"Tomorrow, I'm going to get into the Christmas spirit...my own way."

Thanksgiving has passed. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not ready to jump into the Christmas spirit with both feet. So I made a bizarre little playlist to ease into the holiday. Whether you’re sick of traditional Christmas music and want a change, or just love love love all things Christmas, these are fun, interesting songs, and I think you’ll enjoy them. This is the kind of playlist you listen to with headphones while you wait for the bus.

I tend to feel that way about most playlists.

In any case, after preparing and listening to my Unconventional Christmas Playlist, I suddenly crave snow. I think that’s a sign of success!

Most of these songs qualify as indie rock or folk, but I threw in some other gems. The first song is J-pop. Nothing says “Christmas” like J-pop! (Who knew?!) 
1. Shonen Knife- Sweet Christmas
2. Dressy Bessy- Hopped Up (on Xmas)
3. The Polyphonic Spree- A Working Elf’s Theme
4. Frightened Rabbit- It’s Christmas So We’ll Stop 2008 (Remixed by David Karsten Daniels)
5. Arthur & Yu- My White Elephant
6. Slow Club- Christmas TV
7. The Raveonettes- Christmas Ghosts
8. The Be Good Tanyas- Rudy
9. Of Montreal- Christmas Isn’t Safe For Animals
10. Deer Tick- Holy S%!t, It’s Christmas!
11. The Four Corners- My Gift To You (It’s Me)
12. The Weepies- All That I Want


It’s Christmas So We’ll Stop and Rudy have exceptionally beautiful (and sad) lyrics.
Check them out:
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858740351/
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858560161/

Genre Love: Early 1900s Blues

“Tomorrow, I’m going to learn about the origins of blues music.”

For my research into the most influential blues artists, I listened to as many of these particular artists as I could find. I chose the songs for this week’s playlist when I had a strong emotional reaction to them, or a physical response, as I frequently found myself bobbing and swaying.

Because of the genre’s name, the blues has a reputation as the music of heartbreak, but an incredible variety of subjects are represented in these songs. “Love Lost” is a strong theme. However, there are many songs about poverty, crime, railroads, and other aspects of life as a black man in the late 1800s and early 1900s.

The artists I’ve listed below are so incredible, on the first night of my research I stayed up way later than I should have because I wanted to listen to more and more. Don’t you love that I can use the present tense (“are incredible”)? We are so fortunate to have recorded music.

With my playlist, I’ve included links to excellent biographies of these affecting blues artists.




1. Memphis Jug Band- Insane Crazy Blues
http://www.thebluestrail.com/artists/mus_mjb.htm
2. W.C. Handy- St. Lewis Blues
http://www.biography.com/people/wc-handy-39700
3. Frank Stokes- Tain’t Nobody’s Bizness If I Do
http://www.cr.nps.gov/delta/blues/people/frank_stokes.htm
4. Furry Lewis- Billy Lyons And Stack O’lee
http://www.folkways.si.edu/explore_folkways/furry_lewis.aspx
5. Blind Blake- Come On Boys Let’s Do That Messin’ Around
http://www.gracyk.com/blake1.shtml
6. Mississippi John Hurt- Louis Collins
http://www.msjohnhurtmuseum.com/mjhbio.html
7. Henry Thomas- Jonah in the Wilderness
http://www.cascadeblues.org/History/HenryThomas.htm
8. Gus Cannon- Walk Right In
http://mswritersandmusicians.com/musicians/gus-cannon.html
9. Big Bill Broonzy- Trouble in Mind
http://www.broonzy.com/
10. Blind Lemon Jefferson- Hangman’s Blues
http://www.oldies.com/artist-biography/Blind-Lemon-Jefferson.html
11. Charlie Patton- Banty Rooster Blues
http://www.cr.nps.gov/delta/blues/people/charley_patton.htm
12. Robert Johnson- When You Got a Good Friend
http://www.robertjohnsonbluesfoundation.org/biography

Other useful websites:
http://www.blueslyrics.com.ar/
http://onlineslangdictionary.com/
http://www.kpbs.org/news/2010/mar/23/african-american-railroad-experience/
http://www.acesandeighths.com/blues.html

No More Guilty Pleasures: What I’ve Learned From Spotify

Since I started listening to music through Spotify, I’ve thought a lot about the nature of guilty pleasures. Spotify settings allow the user to choose whether or not to share with facebook. Sharing, in this case, means each song I listen to is listed in the update feed and the most listened to are published to my wall. I decided to leave sharing on because I believe music should be social.

This sort of publicity holds me accountable to claims I’ve always made about music:

1.) I like all kinds of music.
2.) I have no guilty pleasures.
3.) I don’t judge others for their music preferences.

When I’ve asked the question, “What kind of music do you like?” most people I’ve talked to have made statement #1. The distinction has to be made, here, between liking all genres and liking all genres equally. I enjoy variety in music, but I’ve found that the more I experiment with different genres, the more I can pinpoint favorites. Public visibility of my listening habits encourages me to branch out and listen to something different everytime I turn on my computer (or steal my dad’s iPad), which, then, helps me more specifically answer the question, “What kind of music do you like?”

Speaking of my dad, like me and pretty much every other human, he used to claim that he had no guilty pleasures. Sure, sometimes discussions of songs would require a preface: “I know it’s not a good song, but...” So, really, who were we kidding when we said we had no shame when it comes to music? When my dad got an iPad, the first thing I did was download the Spotify app. First, my dad agreed with me that it’s pretty awesome, and then something horrible happened. He “accidentally” (suuure, Dad) listened to a Taylor Swift song and there it was on facebook: Gary is listening to We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift. Suddenly my dad had to think about all his colleagues and high school friends that watched as that update crawled up their screen.

Do you have any guilty pleasures? Most people do, and that’s why you shouldn’t care. Even if you repeatedly listen to a track of a screeching sound, and that’s it, I say good for you. Maybe listening to a screeching sound on repeat triggers a euphoric feeling, and I never would have known if you hadn’t shared that track.

Accept the challenge.


(Note: I plan to experiment with other music streaming services and I’ll let you know how it goes.)